How To Stop Being A Victim

Thoughts and beliefs powerfully impact our emotions and behaviors. The experiences in our life, positive or negative, impact our thoughts and beliefs about our ability to interact with the world around us. If you have experienced a circumstances or situations that you believe was outside of your ability to handle,  then you might begin to adopt a “victim mindset”. Having a victim mindset is neither good nor bad.  A victim mindset does impact your ability to effectively interact with the world around you. Let us objectively look at how the “victim mindset” effects your emotions and behaviors. Then let us adopt an “empowered mindset” and then look at the effects that has on your emotions and behaviors.  

Let’s do a bit of an experiment. Read through these common victim beliefs and see the impact it has on your emotions and behaviors. 

When we believe statements like

1.    I am helpless

2.    I am not good enough

3.    I am not safe

4.    I am vulnerable

5.    I am not able

What type of emotions do these statements evoke? When you feel these emotions, what do your behaviors look like? 

Let’s reword those victim beliefs. Read through these empowered beliefs and see the impact on your emotions and behaviors.

When you believe statements like

1.    I am a strong person who went through a hard situation

2.    I am valuable person no matter what I have experienced

3.    I am capable person that is doing the best I can

4.    I am a wise person who can learn to accept appropriate responsibility

5.    I am skillful person that can grow from my negative experiences 

What type of emotions do these statements evoke? When you feel those emotions, what do your behaviors look like? 

 

Wording is everything. The first set of statements start with I am. Signifying that your identity is a victim. The second set of statements also start with I am, but they don’t end there. They are structed to separate and empower the identity and validate the negative experience the identity went through.  Signifying that the person is not a victim but has experiences that have impacted them. It is subtle but it makes a difference. 

 

Asking you to stop being a victim is asking you to stop believing that your identity is your negative experiences. It is asking you to start believing that your identify is bigger than the negative experiences you have gone through.  Start adapting a mindset that empowers you to move through the difficulties in life. After all you will need feel empowered in order to have the courage to make the changes you need to create the life you want.  Understand that while you may not have caused the problems in your life, you are NOT defined by them, and you can create the life you want. 

If you find that you are stuck in the beliefs that is when talking with a counselor can be helpful. Contact us to schedule a session to explore and empower you through your difficult experiences.